How do you show up when you don't know what to do?

Most of us do more of what we know to do when we don’t know what to do! Why? It is human nature to resist change.
One expert, Robert Quinn speaks to the #1 reason why 90% of corporate change initiatives fail.  He says it is because the senior leaders are unwilling to take on and go through the deep personal change that is required.
“Real Leadership” requires us to face the risks to reinvent ourselves.  Quinn calls it “Getting Lost with Confidence” that is; to learn in a way that helps us forget what we know and discover the pathways including what we and others need.  Leaders who learn their way into a new and emerging world are master change agents which demand an ongoing conversation and exploration.
Executive Coaching — Business and Performance
Coaching impacts business results — it improves every dimension of leadership and performance for individuals, teams and organizations.  Coaching facilitates a dialogue that causes a person to think differently and from multiple perspectives.  Coaching is an inquiry exposing the things we don’t see or don’t know and don’t even know that we don’t know it.  This improves understanding, expands options, enhances decision making and ignites the ability to take action. Coaching is a potent communication process that clarifies current reality and expands capabilities to increased levels of effectiveness, accountability and problem-solving.  Coaching is a client-driven approach to change, learning and growth which accelerates the ability to improve performance results.
Statistics show…
Coaching provides an average return on investment of 5.7 times.
Training increases productivity by 22.4% — productivity increases to 88% when combined with coaching.
“One cannot teach a man anything.  One can only enable him to learn from within himself.”

 Galielo

 

Listening vs. Hearing

Listening is giving your focused attention and presence on the other – that is a rare gift.  It is an action that demonstrates you care.  We live in a busy world where most of us are stretched thin with many balls in the air.  We have high brain noise distracting us from our goals and depleting our energy.  We juggle between the endless list of things to do and time for the people we love and often the joy that is present in every moment is overshadowed with pressure of competing items on our plates.
There is a real distinction between hearing the words and listening for the message.  Listening involves a more sophisticated mental process than hearing; it demands energy and discipline.
Listening to someone whole heartedly allows other people to be heard, to be seen and to express themselves in a way that builds self-esteem.  Listening permits others to resolve their own problems which cultivate a “True” confidence in themselves.  Being heard reduces stress, eliminates conflict, and fosters respect and loyalty.  True listening is a basic human need that promotes a sense of belonging, collaboration and cooperation.
Did you know?
– 45% of people’s time is spent listening in business; however as you up the corporate ladder, the time spent listening increases to 55%.
– 70% of waking hours are spent in verbal communication
– Organizations operating at a low level of listening efficiency usually have high turnover
– Most people will not really listen to your point of view until they become convinced you have heard and appreciate theirs
– We listen at 125-250 words per minute, but think at 1000-3000 words per minute
Filters influencing how we listen:

         Values          Beliefs          Memories
         Expectations          Interests          Assumptions
         Attitude          Past Experience          Perceptions
         Emotional State          Physical Environment          Prejudices

 
Strategies to expand your presence and listening skills:
Be Present
Listen with purpose
Suspend all other activities from mind
Paraphrase: “Here’s what I heard…” or “What I got from what you said is….” or “What I understand you are saying is…”
Listen to understand — not to respond
Make eye contact
Ask questions
The “Voice Mirror” was introduced by Sue Walden of Improv Works at a CAPC (Calgary Association of Professional Coaches) meeting I attended:  It is a transition tool to shut your brain off and bring yourself to being fully present with someone.  It can be used when you find yourself drifting.  The “Voice Mirror” technique: Silently in your head repeat the words the person is saying as quickly as they are saying them”.  I’ve played with the technique and did experience success in being more present with people.
Have fun taking on your wondering mind and enjoy the rich conversations available to you from your listening in a new way!
 

Meet Trudy

Like all of you, I have been at several crossroads where I made significant decisions about me, others, love, money, success and many other things, including life itself. Those decisions evolve into our beliefs, principles and values, all of which become the foundation of our actions. It wasn’t long before I discovered in my own life, that the foundation I was operating from, was limiting my opportunities, potential and results. This created a deep desire within me, to understand myself and human nature — the why we do what we do.
As a result, I developed a “people smart” ability with some key skills, such as listening for potential and seeing strengths in others, both the hidden and obvious. I facilitate people to “take a walk inside themselves™” to discover and claim their authentic personal power.