I’m facilitating an executive coaching dialogue with a client who is expressing some frustration as a result of a blowup he had with another senior leader the week before. Our exploration led him to recognize he goes about his day with general ideas on what he wants to get done. He goes into his conversations with his ideas, opinions, reactions, assumptions and conclusions about what’s going on for others in the face of getting things done and dealing with everyday challenges. This leaves little space for others to share their experiences and contribute to the conversation. It was a privilege to facilitate his discovery about how his opinions, conclusions and assumptions impact people and his conversations, and specifically; the results his conversations do or don’t produce.
One of the principles in Fierce Conversations® is to “take responsibility for your emotional wake”. Not unlike a boat creates a wake in the water, we (each of us) and our conversations create an emotional wake with people. How do you and your conversations leave people? — In an aftermath or a state of empowerment? Access to leaving people empowered and you being effective requires being purposeful, intentional and/or deliberate. How often are you deliberate in your interactions? How purposeful are you as you engage in your work each day?
A tool to use at the “speed of life”….
1, 2, 3: Now!™
- Stop – Take stock of your thoughts, feelings & attitude(s) as you leave the last time block (interaction and/or experience)
- Identify the Next Time Block (Interaction and/or Experience) – Consider who & what this next interaction involves; presence your thoughts, feelings & attitude
- Create an intention/purpose for what you want to accomplish in this next block of time (Interaction and/or Experience) I’m committed to / I’d love to / want to… Be, Do, Have
My challenge to you is use this tool each morning for 30 days. Let me know your results and experiences.
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